The harm of social networks on marital relationships and family environment. Social networks are quickly destroying families

The most basic problem of social networks is that the majority of people simply cease to realize what virtual communication is. In fact, virtual communication is just an addition to full-fledged real communication. People stop communicating in real time, and live communication is replacing virtual communication.

This all happens because each of us has the opportunity to create the image of a more successful person. In one person, in the same physical shell, in the same body, there can be many different doubles. Over the course of a human life, they can live together.

A common problem with social media

Visitors to such resources sometimes do not think about the fact that when they visit social networks, they lose their individuality. The consciousness of some people perceives online communication as a living thing, but in fact, they are mistaken. Also, some individuals flatter themselves by presenting themselves on social networks as rich, successful, and famous. But, in fact, in real life they are the most ordinary people. And such accounts are increasingly filling popular social networks every day, in which they present themselves as directors of industrial enterprises, big financial tycoons, and so on. But, if we face the truth, such people simply physically do not have enough time to spend hours on social networks.

The global problem of social networks today is not that they sometimes fail, but the replacement of real communication, the elimination of precious time that you could spend on work or family. And ultimately, the destruction of the family. In the end, we develop an addiction; you need to constantly visit your social network account. And this addiction is very similar to drug addicts who cannot live without a “dose.”

Daily virtual communication can cause you to lose all social communication skills. During real communication, you will not be able to use one or another emoticon to convey your emotions. More recently, UK scientists were able to show the connection between social networks and their impact on human health. This influence of social networks affects a person’s immunity and hormonal balance. Thinking and functioning of the cardiovascular system deteriorate. Sometimes everything even leads to the initial form of dementia. Also, such a negative effect can include a disorder of the nervous system. This is not surprising, since a different flow of information can either irritate us or make us depressed.

A few words about the psychological problem on a social network. Every registered user on a social network can get split personality. This may be a consequence of the fact that you are subconsciously or consciously impersonating another person. We can say with confidence that about seventy percent of visitors to social networks embellish information about themselves to a small or large extent in order to maintain communication with their interlocutor. Sometimes people get so carried away by this that they end up being completely different people. And in the end result, such a problem can easily lead to a split personality

So, dear users, if you have children, or will have them in the future, be sure to explain to your child from childhood that communication via social networks is just a small addition to full, real communication.

Maxim Bondar

By the end of this year, the number of divorces due to the fault of Facebook and other popular Internet sites may reach 45-50%, and by 2020, social networks may become the main cause of divorces not only in America, but also in Europe

According to Gallup, one in three divorces last year involved a social network. This figure has been growing for the eighth year in a row - since the launch of the legendary Facebook resource. The more popular Mark Zuckerberg's creation becomes, the more Americans file for divorce.

The current situation frightens not only the creators of social networks, but also numerous fighters for a happy family life.

By the end of this year, the number of divorces due to the fault of Facebook and other popular Internet sites may reach 45 - 50%, and by 2020, social networks may become the main cause of divorces not only in America, but also in Europe.

There are five main reasons after which family life goes downhill. Firstly, many men and women do not advertise that they are married. They set the status to single instead of married, do not post photos with an engaged person, add friends unknown to their wife (husband) and join dating groups.

Any of these facts infuriates the other half, who immediately begins to think about betrayal and their own inferiority. Suspicions, naturally, gradually turn into jealousy.

Thus, a resident of South Dakota, Al Jones, divorced his wife only because she added several gym friends as friends and did not publicly display a single photo of her and Jones together. The latter attacked his wife shouting: “You are ashamed of me! I hate you!”

This couple lived together for 7 years and had four small children, who with great difficulty survived the trial and separation from their parents. In fact, the social network ruined the lives of six once happy people.

The second reason is flirting. A comment written or a compliment received instantly arouses suspicion.

Alaska resident Paula Hammers, for example, filed for divorce when she read her husband's comments to her former classmates. The woman was especially angry by the fact that her husband was sending messages from his work computer, but he was constantly late from work, citing being busy.

The third reason is personal correspondence. It is not reflected on user pages, but husbands and wives find out about it when one of them forgets to “log out” or leaves a cell phone unattended.

So, in the state of Florida alone, more than a hundred marriages collapsed last year. Moreover, in all cases, divorce documents were filed a week after the wedding. The initiators were, as a rule, wives. They were horrified when they read intimate correspondence, which turned out to be nothing more than virtual sex.

Some husbands tried to justify that they corresponded with other women before meeting their current spouse. However, this did not help either. The wives felt humiliated and insulted. Many were frightened by the “dirty fantasies” of the faithful and their promiscuous sex lives.

Fourthly, many husbands and wives find out about their partner’s infidelities thanks to anonymous messages. In California, for example, a prostitute is under investigation who, after having sex with clients, found them on social networks and began writing to their relatives.

The prosecutor's office does not know what to do with this intriguer. On the one hand, she wrote the pure truth and even, to some extent, opened the eyes of deceived people. On the other hand, it contributed to the destruction of large, happy families (20% of married men use the services of "moths" in the USA).

There are a great many such informers on social networks. Sometimes they destroy families due to elementary envy and awareness of their own inferiority. Even if the information they release is not true, tension arises in family relationships.

The fifth reason is the most significant and very rarely mentioned in the press. The fact is that social networks are interested in the maximum number of clicks, so information about a person (photos, groups, friends, hobbies, comments, etc.) should be as accessible as possible.

A person should have the right to surf the site under a name other than his own and use someone else’s photo. He should have the right to completely hide information about himself.

In Texas, for example, there was a recent case where a man registered on a social network, and his page automatically reflected the pages of everyone whose email addresses were in his email (received and sent). This is how he saw his own wife, who was “surfing” online not under her first and last name, but with her photograph. She used a fake account to correspond with her lovers, but it surfaced thanks to a new feature on the resource.

The couple has already filed for divorce, and the woman caught cheating plans to sue an online resource that, in her opinion, interferes with her personal life.

Social networks in America, it is worth noting, spend billions of dollars on litigation. Large teams of professional lawyers try to resolve all complaints before litigation and journalistic intervention.

Such cases, as a rule, do not receive wide publicity.

“Social networks are a very dangerous product,” says Bill Ansday, a leader of the movement to close such sites. “In fact, people’s personal lives are exposed to public display. And if 15 years ago people could send each other exclusively text messages through social networks, now they can trace even their whereabouts."

Ansday advises married people to never join social networks. “A happy family life is a private family life,” he repeats endlessly.

Many divorce experts claim that if there were no social networks, there would be no fewer divorces.

Every new hobby for most Americans was accompanied by divorce.

“At different times, sources of divorce in the United States were landline telephones, dating sections in newspapers, mobile phones, cameras in mobile phones, video cameras, surveillance cameras and many other items,” says researcher Travis Lloyd. “Any invention that made it possible to communicate at a distance or retaining information has been criticized for ruining marriages.”

The Internet and social networks, as a result, have only combined all the inventions, giving rise to a huge amount of uncontrolled pornography, virtual prostitution, so-called “text sex” and much more, which does not contribute to the strengthening of family relationships.

Consequently, popular Internet resources not only divorce people, but also marry them. Moreover, there are much more weddings after dating on Facebook and other sites than divorce proceedings.

The conclusion from all of the above is the following: even when alone with oneself (that is, on a page on social networks that is as closed as possible from the outside world), a person must behave as if others are closely watching him.

First of all, relatives (husbands, wives, children). After all, as terrible statistics show, even the slightest stupidity can completely ruin the life of your entire family.

A modern person rarely imagines his life without a computer and the Internet. Yes, such advanced inventions really help us in life - it is much easier to search for information and work with it, everything is always available. But such “gifts of civilization” are also fraught with many dangers, literally dragging ordinary people “into the net.”

Only two-day-old babies now do not have pages on social networks (and then, most likely, because their mother was “not up to it” in the maternity hospital) or hundred-year-old people (they still remember what communication really is). Everyone else checks in regularly, using this opportunity in any open Wi-Fi, and sits for hours looking at new photos and statuses of “friends.” Here, this Lyubka from a parallel class, with whom we communicated in real life only twice, accidentally sat down at the same table in the dining room. So, look, she bought herself a Ferrari... And Tanya, from my year at university, got married and gave triplets to her husband! But the most “joyful” thing is this Lilka, the second cousin of my grandmother’s neighbor, look, she posted a photo of her and a dark-skinned macho sunbathing in Bali! No, well, not an infection, eh?

And here I am, all good and wonderful, living alone with a cat in a shabby communal apartment and getting to my work at the housing office by tram... But they all don’t need to know about it. So, friend, take a photo of me next to this Lexus, yes, which is parked on the side of the road - so what, let them think that it’s mine. I’ll also beg my sister for a prom dress and take a picture in it against the backdrop of a waterfall in the botanical garden - why wouldn’t you like an overseas holiday?

What do such “exercises” on social networks give us and why do we do it? To increase self-esteem? Affirmations of self-worth and importance? Out of a desire to appear better than you really are? Or is it because of the nagging feeling of loneliness in a crowd of people? Let's figure it out.

It is one of the symptoms of Internet addiction. The phenomenon of Internet addiction has been described more than once by researchers. At the same time, scientists classify dependence on social networks as a separate group - dependence on so-called “cyber relationships”: communication in chats and teleconferences, which can ultimately lead to the replacement of real friends and family with virtual ones.

According to researchers, the time spent on searching, communicating, virtual flirting, as well as viewing photographs from the lives of old acquaintances, former classmates and classmates, often exceeds the time spent performing the work duties of employees. As a result, corporate network administrators often specifically block access to social networks. But, of course, at home it’s unlikely that anyone will interfere with such communication, so the problem does not go away completely.

Scientists call such virtual communication on social networks quasi-communication - that is, imaginary, apparent. Naturally, it is virtually impossible to classify it as effective and complete communication. A person has the illusion that he knows well all those whose pages he regularly views. It is easy to guess that in fact such a statement is far from the truth.

Who “sits” on social networks?

1. Independent people. Representatives of this group appear on social networks very rarely – once a day, a week or even a month. At the same time, they do not post much information about themselves on their pages, and sometimes even hide it from view. They go online only out of urgent need - to find someone’s address or phone number, to respond to an important message. If there is no need to go to your page, such people do not appear there;
2. Transitional type. This group of “users” are starting to visit their accounts more often – more than once a day. At the same time, they do not need any visible reasons - just the desire to “look through” the pages of friends or groups is enough and thus dispel boredom. At the transition stage, people usually “hold on” for about two to three months, and then “jump” into the third type (we will talk about it below). In very rare cases there is a return from this stage to “independent”;
3. Dependent people. Unfortunately, this type of social network user is the most common. Such people do not forget to update their page every 10-20 minutes - what if someone writes? The resulting correspondence “about nothing” can last for an hour and completely separate the “owner” from reality. And, if there are no messages, there is a feeling of being useless and unclaimed - why, no one writes to me! Representatives of this type most likely have “facebook”, “vkontakte”, “twitter”, etc. applications on their smartphones that work at least 6-8 hours a day - thus, the person is almost constantly “online”. And it’s very difficult for him to survive a day or two without his favorite social network.

More often than others, lonely people become dependent on social networks - in this way they create a “surrogate” of communication for themselves. But often this loneliness is false and invented - that is, a person physically lives in society, but in fact does not communicate with those around him. People with a lot of complexes become frequent guests of social networks; teenagers who cannot build relationships with peers; young mothers - “while the baby is sleeping”; and also very sociable people - just give them a reason to communicate. Over time, the line between the real and the virtual blurs in the head, and a person forgets that you can just go to a friend’s house for his birthday, and not send him emoticons with a cake and flowers. Virtual communication becomes the only means of communication for addicts, and only a global reason such as a temporary lack of Internet can tear them away from their favorite activity. But it is precisely at this time that such interesting, lively, real life is happening around! However, addicted people no longer notice it.

If you notice that your loved one begins to live on social networks, confusing virtual and real friends, you need to sound the alarm! After all, the distance from reality only gets worse in the future. According to some data, every fifth or sixth family breaks up due to social networks. Aren't these terrifying numbers? Sometimes the starting point of the breakup is that one of the spouses devotes many times more time to the Internet than to the family. Or your significant other suddenly starts flirting on a social network. It’s rare for anyone to be pleased to see their spouse’s love correspondence with other network users. Thus, loneliness also turns from far-fetched to real.

“Getting out” of social networks alone is very difficult. The name speaks for itself - networks! There are too many seemingly accessible opportunities and temptations. Therefore, the sooner the relatives of the “victim” begin to act, the greater the likelihood of returning him to the real world as effectively and quickly as possible. And here you often cannot do without the help of an experienced psychologist.

1. The duration of concentration and concentration decreases. By communicating online, a person trains his brain to absorb information spontaneously, quickly and in tiny portions. The ability to hold attention to something for a long time is gradually lost. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may develop. This is a side effect of data integration: a person is tempted to perform several processes in parallel - communication, discussing meetings, listening to playlists, etc.

Subsequently, it becomes difficult to concentrate for a long time, for example, on a book. After all, the brain, out of habit, shifts attention from one object to another. As a result, we are faced with “floating” attention. There is no need to explain that this feature can have a negative impact on many types of activities. But this problem is especially acute for children - a child’s thinking is more plastic, and it is much easier for him to absorb harmful standards of thinking, formed, among other things, by social networks;

2. Decrease in intelligence, alienation. Numerous hours of “in contact” occupy our brain with aimless and meaningless activity. It cannot be called intellectual work - after all, no one thinks about the quality of the incoming information. The brain is simply busy all the time, but it’s not clear what exactly and why. He's just chewing his internet cud. But this time could have been spent on much more useful things - reading books, planning, thinking about what is important to you.

The continuous flow of information does not provide any opportunity to think about it, to digest it. Then real empathy, passion, interest, and compassion for other people disappear. It’s trite - they never have time to manifest themselves, because the information changes too abruptly and quickly, and there is simply not enough time for everything;

3. Information dependence. Often, having accustomed the brain to a constant flow of data, and then suddenly interrupting this “chewing gum” for a while, we feel a very real “withdrawal”. In moments of “information vacuum” - that is, in fact, at all times when the network is inaccessible - it becomes more and more difficult to relax. The brain simply requires more and more pieces of information!

4. Stress, fatigue. There's probably no point in explaining much here. It’s just that in a series of constantly changing impressions, the human brain gets very tired, and the body experiences stress. Plus, your eyes get very tired.

Social media addiction is not on the list of diseases. However, it can seriously ruin the life of a modern person. So, if you are determined to get rid of this addiction and become a truly “living” person again, listen to simple advice:

1. Set restrictions on being online using special programs. Such programs simply block the site after a certain time. Try to limit yourself to a maximum of one hour per day;
2. To experience withdrawal pain less painfully, keep your hands busy with something useful. Monotonous work is good: modeling, knitting, weaving, designing, drawing, etc. Such activities are a kind of meditation - they calm you down, focus your brain on fine motor skills of your hands;
3. Unsubscribe from various entertainment groups. Remember – there shouldn’t be hundreds or thousands of them! It’s better to join educational, developmental groups. Such information will save your brain from gradual “dullness”;
4. “Clean up” your friends list - remove those who constantly bother you with stupid statuses and messages. Or even just “listed”;
5. Hide news that is not interesting to you. It is unlikely that it is vital for you to read all these pretentious statuses;
6. It may not be easy at first. But over time, you will be happy to notice that you feel good without social networks, and if you get there, you spend time usefully. And that means you are living real life again!
7. And finally, if you can’t cope alone, seek help from a specialist.

Anna Kutyavina

The Internet, computer, cellular communications - all these benefits of civilization, designed to make the life of a modern person easier and brighter, have played a cruel joke on humanity. Previously, people wrote paper letters, thought about tests, racked their brains, sent them, waited for an answer, then the telegraph was replaced by the telephone, people far from each other began to communicate more often and more.

Well, now it’s the turn of the Internet. Finding a person who does not have a page on some social network is not so easy, and this is not only adults. Both gray-haired grandfathers and beardless youths communicate online.
But is it as good as it seems at first glance?

Secondly, on social networks it is very easy to find friends or even a soulmate. The interlocutor’s questionnaire will tell you a lot about him. You can immediately determine for yourself whether you need communication with this person, whether he is suitable for you by age, height, weight, religious beliefs or horoscope. Choose selection criteria and go! Photos posted on the profile also contribute to faster development of relationships. After all, you immediately see whether he is attractive to you or not.

Thirdly, you can easily find not only new friends, but also find old ones. Perhaps you remembered your first love or are looking for a deskmate with whom you skipped physics? Social networks are on your side here.

But remember that social networks hide many dangers. First, there is a real threat of real communication being replaced by virtual communication. This is especially scary for young people when they are just learning to communicate, build relationships, start a conversation and conduct dialogues. “Hanging out” on social networks makes people withdrawn in the real world, and the inability for some reason to visit their favorite sites makes people irritable and aggressive.

When communicating on social networks, people lose the ability to find a common language. If you can’t find a common language with a person, just one click is enough and he will disappear from your environment. When communicating in the real world, in the same situation you have to be wiser, find a common language even with a not very pleasant person.

There is also a high probability that behind the photo of a cute girl with flowers in her hands is an aggressive young man or even some kind of fraudulent organization. Please be more vigilant.
Social networks and marital relations.

Social networks take up a lot of time that could be devoted to your spouse, home, everyday life, children or hobbies. Time on the Internet flies by at lightning speed and, unfortunately, it does not always bring benefit or satisfaction.

Sooner or later, many people think about finding their first love and begin to resurrect in their memory the joyful moments of meetings, dates, and communication. And if “that girl” admits that she remembers you, then many begin to doubt whether they got married correctly, or whether they chose the right person as their life partner. Many, after such confessions, decide to meet, and sometimes even “refresh their memories,” thus putting two families at risk of divorce at once.

Many people who have been married for more than one year get bogged down in routine and begin to look for flirting and romance on the side. Not every married person decides to register on a dating site, but registration on social networks will not arouse any suspicion. Casual communication develops into flirting, and this, in turn, can develop into a romance.

Take a closer look at your partner, if you notice that he spends more and more time on the computer, pays less attention to you, gets irritated if you try to distract him from the monitor - all this may indicate that problems have arisen in your family. Try to limit the time you and your partner spend on social media. Come up with as many reasons as possible to be alone, without the computer.

Perhaps it's time to go on a date, play a board game, have a picnic in nature, or just watch a good movie? Strengthen your relationship now, tomorrow may be too late.

Social media is gaining more and more power over modern relationships. And while some laugh it off with the phrase “what happens on Facebook stays on Facebook,” others believe that showing sympathy, even through virtual “likes,” is a real sign of betrayal. Is online communication with your significant other worth increased attention? What signs might indicate an impending problem? **Friendship with “exes”** A couple of clicks, and once lost contacts can be resumed. No one has canceled curiosity, but is it worth returning to a relationship that was once passed through? Trying to find out what happened with your ex may not be understood by your current partner. Think about what is more important to you: the past or the present? **Dominance of virtual life over real life** The desire to “check email” can take up a good half of a family evening. And trying to quickly see how many likes your last photo got will easily lead to the thread of a conversation going away. This video perfectly demonstrates that sometimes family members have to make really big efforts to regain the attention of a household member. Observe yourself - when do you most often try to get your phone out? Why do you open a browser page even if you don't need the Internet? Maybe the computer is an attempt to avoid conflicts? If so, you should close the laptop lid and honestly face the problems. Even if this problem is addiction to gadgets.

**Frank statuses** Despite the fact that Facebook often asks “What are you thinking?”, it is not at all necessary to bare your whole soul online. Google remembers everything. It is also worth remembering that messages may well become publicly available, despite the “private” settings. So, if you want to discuss the latest fight at home with friends on social networks, it is better to do this in private correspondence. **Public opinion** Previously, parents could judge everything and everyone. Time has passed, but the habit remains. Why involve third parties in family conflicts remains a mystery. Relationships are not always smooth, and you need to learn to live through problems on your own. In the end, negative experiences make us mature. **Caring for non-existent pets** Think about what makes up your virtual life today? How much time do you spend in front of a monitor screen just because you play, communicate, relax and entertain yourself using a computer? Write down the number of hours you spend on your “virtual” life and think about what you can do for your family and your relationships today. Virtual life creates many substitutes for real relationships, but being behind a monitor screen only creates the illusion that it is not. **Flirting** Comments, “likes” on photos, random remarks in other people’s conversations - over the past ten years, modern society has created many rules of virtual etiquette, which are gradually being reinforced. Should you or should you not add strangers to your social networks? How to take a “like” from a cute work colleague? As a flirt or as a sign of politeness? When trying to determine the line between what is permissible and what is not, common sense will prevail. At the end of the day, flirting is still flirting. **Facebook does not replace communication** If you increasingly resolve current issues with your partner through chats and correspondence on social networks, you should start worrying. If you live together and still don't find time to be together, then it's time to reconsider your schedule. After all, you've put a lot of effort into starting your family. It's worth fighting for.